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Moving past divorce drama

Updated Sunday, June 3rd 2012 at 00:00 GMT +3

Divorce comes with a rollercoaster of emotions that can be draining. But the good news is that you can transform your divorce pain into life wisdom, writes NJOKI CHEGE

Divorce is tough. It is a difficult process and the journey is riddled with many pitfalls.

In Kenya, many couples choose to live separately without initiating divorce proceedings because of this.

But if you decide to go the divorce way, you need to be well-prepared. 

First, it is good to know that you can evade a messy divorce that is characterised by hurling of insults and pitting the children against each other. It is possible to go through divorce and emerge a stronger, better person.

Next step is to acknowledge that divorce is heavy in all aspects — emotional, physical and social. Because of this fact, you cannot go it alone.

To  remain sober through the process, you  need assistance from an objective third party.

Judy Thongori, a Nairobi-based family lawyer, advises women going through divorce to get a rational third party, preferably a counsellor who will help them through the process.

“Divorce is emotionally heavy, and this is why you need a third party, not your parents or siblings, since they are also hurting with you, but a counsellor who will walk with you and hold your hand through the entire process,” says Thongori.

Two key issues come into mind when going through a divorce — division of property and the custody of the children.

 

DIVISION OF PROPERTY

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